Getting into shape.
Here's my confession for the day: I kind of hate healthy people.
It's not that I have anything against them as people. I'm sure they're all very nice. I can admit that a lot of it is jealousy. Them with their stupid gym bags and their 5 a.m. yoga classes and their healthy snacks in their desks in case they have a "craving". Jerks.
If I haven't made it clear over the past couple of years in this blog, I'm not exactly an example of good health. If there's food to be had, make mine "comfort". If there's alcohol to be had, make mine wheat-y and calorie-filled. If there's salad, make mine caesar, and could you add some extra cheese to it? You see, I come from a family of barbecuers who might as well be carnivores. Our staple vegetable is a casserole with rice and cheese and butter... and broccoli. (Also: spinach dip.)
But lately, I have been moaning a lot about the fact that I am unhealthy. I work in a seven story building, where I am on the fourth floor, my boss is on the fifth, and the place I take my timesheets is on the third. Print timesheet, run upstairs, get timesheet approved, run back downstairs, print submitted timesheet, run upstairs, get boss to sign timesheet, run down two flights of stairs, drop timesheet off, run back upstairs. This little routine ends with me at my desk, where I sit next to healthy people, and I try to not seem like I am so out of breath I'd like to borrow some of theirs.
So, I sucked it up. Started eating less, joined a gym, became friends with an elliptical trainer, started drinking 8+ glasses of water every day. Over the course of three weeks, I lost 7.5 pounds.
The thing is, I'm still sort of doing what I want to do. I'm still going to the bar, I'm still eating the occasional greasy snack. But people, I am not kidding you with this - yesterday at the diner in our neighborhood, I saw the girl across from me get cheese fries, and they DID NOT LOOK APPETIZING. Does this mean I'm becoming one of you people? I woke up at 10 to go to the gym before my husband woke up, and then agreed to help a friend move out of her second and third story apartment without a second thought. I went to the gym four days in a row and then felt guilty when I had class the next day and couldn't make it. Are we KIDDING?!
While 7.5 pounds is not a ton for a person my size, the way I feel is a little ridiculous. I'm making healthy choices because they're actually the ones that appeal to me rather than feeling like they're what I "should" do. I'm motivated not by the number I see on the scale, but by the fact that I don't get winded halfway through my little timesheet dance. (Though I'm not going to lie, the number on the scale helps.) Yesterday helping Amy move, I didn't think about how I was out of breath, but instead focused on breathing the right way. Today, my legs hurt "the right way" - my thighs are sore, but my knees are perfect.
So, what's up, health world? I'm interested in making your acquaintance. And maybe for you, I'll even try to order light beer next time.
Comments
I started trying to get healthier (eating better/exercising more) about seven years ago, after one of my parents had a health crisis. I knew I was doing bad, and needed to change. I lost a lot of weight.
So, I tend to have more salads and veggie subs, and fewer random fast-food burgers. I'm not a saint--I still have things I like that are less-than-healthy, but I do try to take a big picture approach. What am I eating overall? Is this what I really want, or what's in front of me?
I will say, I definitely had the same experience you did. I would look at something I used to eat, and wonder, "how could I put that in my body?" I remember this most vividly with a Wendy's "Cheddar Lover's Burger."
There are health nuts, which I'm not. But I do think it is possible to have a healthier lifestyle while finding what is sustainable for you. I hope you are able to find that balance.
Sounds to me like you are making healthy living part of your life, not all of your life which is healthy in itself.